To keep me sane from going crazy sitting in the house all day since surgery I sleep a lot. I get tired of sleeping and I browse the web, check email, I don not play the games on facebook.com. My Mother plays my facebook games for me. I do not have the patience for Farmville anymore or Mafia wars. I know sounds kind of ridiculous but since she had her hysterectomy she needed something to do and Farmville was her thing, that and buying and selling on Ebay. It is a good sanity tool for some, just not me. I am not a shopper person and I am not a horder. I may not like to clean but I like to organize. You figure these things out about yourself and you keep your sanity.
No one ever imagines themselves laid up at home and not able to leave. You really should consider these things it happens to everyone. The first time it happened to me I had injured my wrist at my job and was on workers comp for 6 weeks. I sat at home all day long browsing the web and listening to the radio trying to win giveaways. Just so we know I won a $1000 off the radio and it helped with my bills. All I had to do was be the right caller. The web browsing netted me a crazy boyfriend while I was finishing my college degree. Internet dating was not my thing. It made me crazier, cause I was creating turmoil with the internet boyfriends. To keep sane you have to not create turmoil or confusion for yourself. I didn't learn this until many years down the road. That is the nice part about being in my thirties I have done the stupid stuff and don't feel the need anymore to do those things.
Now I sit at home mid-winter, with my children on snow days like today, Trying to occupy myself. My restrictions have limited what I can do to the degree that I can not organize my house; due to I could reopen my scars from lifting. So no lifting, trust me I would rather be reorganizing than sitting on my bottom all day. They also say no exercising, so there went my new years resolution to lose weight. Most of my muscles have degenerated to just tissue not muscle anymore. Due to having the pseudotumor, I would rest lots to make the headaches go away. So I did not gain weight I just lost muscle shape in the last 6 months up until surgery. I do not like that by any means because I look like I have gained weight and I have not. So it will be a struggle to gain muscle definition back. In all regions of my muscles, I know there is a difference, I lost shape in my calves, upper arms, neck, belly and thighs.
So today I sit here after getting out of bed at noon because the kids had a snow day and I wanted to sleep next to my partner after he got home from working all night. His third-shift schedule really throws me for a loop still. I do not cuddle with anyone 5 nights a week and when he is home on the weekends I have to share the bed, except during recovery from surgery he wouldn't even sleep in the same room with me afraid to hurt me. He slept on a trundle bed in my daughters room or on the couch in the living room or the basement. I felt bad but not enough to share the bed. This is my time remember recovery, now I share the bed but I feel as if I slept better it was a more of a quality sleep. My mind is rested but my body still aches.
Normally during recovery I have moved to the living room found the comfy chair and taken control of it. I currently sit in this chair web browsing in my living room, while my daughter does the same from the couch and my step son is playing the ps3 with his Christmas present of black-ops. using his birthday present of a wireless bluetooth headphones for his game. What else would a 13-year-old boy do on a snow day? At least we have all gotten out of our pj's to do our respective sane activities. Shortly, I will be watching Netflix because that is what I do. We do not have cable, we have internet. We do not have a tv in the living room we have a computer with a large monitor. This allows us to watch movies and tv shows in the comfort of the living room.
Maybe later today I will still get my visitors who said they would visit today. Highly doubtful considering the weather. I do not want them risking themselves driving on slick roads. I shall find something to occupy myself I have children at home today. It is a snow day for them, it should be one for me too. I still love snow days. Acting like a child is what keeps me sane. Reading books and pretending I can visualize what the characters are doing; that allows me to get away from reality and keep my sanity.
